Of hopes and fears

I’ve been feeling terrible for the past three days. My thoughts have been all over the place. I’ve been feeling negative about something that is super important to me. I know my thoughts aren’t true. I know fear is a liar. Yet, I can’t seem to find my centre.

Trauma will do that to you. It’ll come back and haunt you when you least expect it. One day, you’re super happy, and then something reminds you of the grief in your past, and things will go from zero to hundred very quickly.

But, you have to tell yourself over and over again- Not every thought is true. The mind plays games. Don’t let it control you. Yes, there will be days when your thoughts will overwhelm you. And those days will pass. Let them pass. Give them your silence.

Most importantly, don’t let those days change your definition of you. Bad days don’t mean you’re weak or less important. EVERYONE has shitty days. If you try too hard to control them, you’ll end up feeling worse. Let them come and go. Acknowledge that you’re having bad thoughts, and that it’s normal. And know that God is bigger than these thoughts.

I find myself going back to this quote on such days- Karta kare na kar sake, Shiv kare so hoye. Teen Lok, Nau khand mein, Shiv se bada na koye.

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