I quit my job last week. I had been doing the same thing, at the same company, for three years, and I knew I was finished with it. I was very good at my job, to the extent that my manager told me I could rejoin whenever I wanted to.
But the problem isn’t that I’m out of work. The problem is that I tend to equate my worth with my work. I had spoken about the ‘Curse of Productivity’ and I can’t seem to let it go. And our current culture obsessed with ‘hustle’ isn’t helping.
It’s unhealthy. If your self worth depends on anything external, be it your job or your relationship, you’ll never really be completely at peace. You’ll hold on to things much longer than you need to, simply because you associate your own value with it.
I acknowledge that there’s a problem. And I know I’ll really have to sit with all of these thoughts every single day to get myself out of this cycle. But I intend to do that. I don’t just want to get another job or start something new to avoid facing this.
I am consciously going to choose a slow, leisurely and laid-back life. Because it is perfectly okay to just live. Because there’s nothing glamorous about being busy.